Inuredneck
by psycho-sawa
Summary: I don't mean to offend any rednecks.
1. Default Chapter

It started like a normal day Kogome was on her way to See Inuyasha and  
everyone. She got to the well when she saw Inuyasha looking around.  
"Inuyasha what are you doing here?"  
He looks over at her"You come to my place all the time, I want to see what  
its like here."  
Kagome thought to herself for a minute, "Sure I'll show you what it's like  
here, come on."  
Inuyasha smiled, and walked up to her, "Where do we go first."  
"How bout I show you what it's like in the city,then I'll show you the  
Country side."  
"ok."  
They walked to the city and Inuyasha saw all the cars, and yanked out his  
Tetsuiga, "Kagome watch out! I'll get these demons."  
"Inuyasha Stop those aren't demons!"  
but inuyasha didn't here her, so she was forced to say, "SIT", before  
Inuyasha sliced the cars in half.  
"What did you do that for now the demons are going to eat us."  
"Those aren't demons Inuyasha those are cars"  
"Wha?"  
"Maybe I'll just show you the countryside now."  
"whatever"  
Kagome and Inuyasha Decided to take a bus to the country,  
The bus came and the bus driver saw Inuyasha and pointed to a sign that  
said 'no animals allowed on bus.'  
"What?!" Inuyasha said angrily.  
Before Inuyasha was able to kill him Kagome agreed with the bus driver,  
grabbed Inuyashas arm and walked away.  
"How dare that guy call me an animal I should cut that bus into pieces."  
So Inuyasha And Kagome walked instead. When they got there Inuysha saw a  
couple of Rednecks sitting on there porch staring at him and Kagome,  
"Kagome Do you know those guys?"  
"No of course not, those guys are rednecks."  
"Redneck? What's a redneck?"  
The rednecks talking to eachother "Hey Cledus is them guys is talkin bout  
us?"  
"I don't know Billy-Bob go over ther and ask 'em before i get my two-by-  
fo(2x4)  
Inuyasha and Kagome "You know, Redneck"  
"Hey yu guys ain't talkin bout is ya?"as he walks toward Kagome and  
Inuyasha.  
"No of course not " said Kagome nervously, "We were just passing through."  
Kagome whispered to Inuyasha, "Inuyasha if these guys get too close you can  
kill them alright."  
"Why? They seem cool to me, In fact I think we should hang out with these  
guys foir a little while."  
"What are them things on your head they look like dog ears."  
"Uh, ya."  
"You guys ain't from round is ya."  
Inuyasha looking giddy told Kagome, "These guys talk so cool."  
"Inuyasha These guys are a couple of Rednecks!"  
From his porch Cledus yelled, "Hey! Dont make me get me two-by-fo!".  
"She didn't mean that, You guys are so cool, I'm Inuyasha and this is  
Kagome"  
"Inuyasha Shut up! Don't tell them my name."  
"She lives over by the Higurashi Shrine"  
"Inuyasha Shut the hell up!"  
"She is fifteen years old and her school is ......"  
"SIT" Bang!!  
"What was that for? I was trying to get to know these fine  
Gentlemen."  
"Dont tell them everything about me!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because...."  
"Hey now if you guys is just gonna stand there fight I got some widdlin I  
need to get done so...."  
Inuyasha says with a big smile, "Oh no. We just wanna hang out with guys a  
little while"  
Kagome quickly turing to Inuyasha, "What? no we don't"  
"Hey, Billy-Bob Who are them guys?!"  
"I dunno Cledus I think they wanna stay for some supper."  
"Well tellum they ain't goin to cause there is only enought for us"  
"We we don't want any supper we just want to hang out, Shut up Kagome."  
"I Didn't say anything!"  
"Oh."  
"I'm going home Inuyasha."  
Billy-Bob pointing to the east, "Ya mean by the Higurashi shrine"  
"Yes and you better stay away from there or I'll call the cops! Bye  
Inuyasha."  
"Wait Kagome don't go,I-I Love you"  
"What did you say Inuyasha?"  
"I was just kidding."  
"SIT! You Bastard. SIT!" Bang!! Bang!! Kagome starts to run home.  
"Wait Kagome I don't know how to get back to your house! Maybe I'll see you  
guys later."  
"Alright. What was yer name again?"  
"Inuyasha, see ya. Kagome wait!"  
"Them two seem nice. maybe I won't stalk 'em."  
"Kagome wait!"  
"NO Inuyasha you're just a stupid bastard."  
"But I don't know how to get back to the well."  
"Walk down this road six blocks and take a left. Now leave me alone."  
"But I...."  
"GO!"  
Inuyasha leaves and goes back to his time.  
Two days later (In Kagomes Time) She comes to see if everyone is alright.  
As soon as she gets out of the well Shippo Jumps into Kagomes arms, "Kagome  
I'm glad you're back Inuyasha's been Talking and Acting really weird. AND  
his breath stinks."  
"Really? What has he been doing?"  
"Well, he has this weird accint, and his English is really bad. And all he  
does is sit on this porch he made and carve wood."  
Kagome says with a surprised look"Oh no."  
Kagome follows Shippo to Where Inuyasha is, "Inuyasha what's going on?"  
"I ain't doin nuthin just widdlin."  
Shippo turns to Kagome, "See he is really stupid. I think you might have  
said SIT one too many times, Kagome."  
"Shut-up kid!" Inuyasha hits Shippo over the head with a 2x4, and knocks  
him out.  
"Inuyasha SIT!" Bang!! Breaks Inuyashas old rocking chair.  
"Hey look what ya'll did to my rocker!"  
Inuyasha tries to put the rocking chair back together when Kagome says,  
"Inuyasha you can't be a redneck."  
"Why not!"  
"Because you're a dog demon!"  
"Feh."  
Miroku and Sango walk up and Miroku says trying not to smile, "Hello  
Kagome, I see you've met Inuredneck." Miroku bursts out laughing.  
With a puzzled look, "What did you call him Miroku?"  
And Inuyasha inturupts, "I change my name to Inuredneck, ya'll got a  
problem with at?"  
Everyone looks at hime like he is the stupidest person in the world and  
Kagome says, "But Inuyasha...."  
"Eh! What's my name?"  
Kagome says with a snooty attitude, "Uhh. Inuredneck what would Kikyo think  
if she found out your'e a redneck?"  
"She's just gonna have ta deal with it."  
Miroku steps up and says, "Inuredneck if you carve wood, and chew tobacco  
all day how are you going to find the Jewel shards?"  
"Well, Miroku, I can do both it ain't like I'm in any hurry."  
"But what if Naraku gets them first."  
"If he do than I'll beat em with my two-by-fo."  
"Inuyasha I don't think that will work."  
"First of all it's Inuredneck, second of all ya'll wanna see what I can  
with this two-by-fo?!"  
Miroku Backs off and says to Kagome, "Maybe you can convince him somehow."  
"Tain't no use you ain't convincin me I like being a redneck."  
Kagome walks up to Inuyasha and says"Inuyasha what did you do to your  
teeth?"  
"What they ain't real they're plastic." Inuyasha pulls out plastic Hill-  
billy teeth out of his mouth.  
Sango says to Miroku" Where did he get those?"  
Miroku answered with an intregued look, "I don't know but I want some too!"  
Sango looks at him with one raised eye-brow, "Are you O.K.?"  
Walking towards Inuyasha Miroku says, "Hey, Inuredneck, Where did you get  
those?"  
Inuyasha still arguing with Kagome Turns to Miroku and says, "I stole 'em  
from this werd house in Kgomes time, it had all sorts of strange little  
thangs in it."  
Kagome looks at Inuyasha Thinking, "He must have got them from Spencers  
gifts."  
Miroku says, sadly, "Now I can't be a redneck"  
Inuyasha looks up at Miroku and says, "I know you can be a pimp."  
"What's a pimp."  
"I dunno, somebody told me they was one when I's in that weird house."  
Koagome says, with a surprised look, "Um, Miroku, you can't be a pimp."  
"Aww."  
Inuyasha looks at Kagome, "Maybe he can be a Crackhead?"  
"Inuyasha How do you even know that word?"  
"Dat pimp pointed at dis guy in dat werd house, and said 'he be a  
crackhead.'"  
Kagome whispers to herself, "Maybe I should stay away from Spencers from  
now on."  
"What'd ya'll say?"  
"No, he can't be a crackhead."  
"Well, wat can he be den?"  
"Uhh."  
Miroku looks at Kagome, "So I can't be anything?"  
"You can be a Bhuddist Priest named Miroku. Is that O.K?"  
Miroku says, with a hung head, "Yes thats fine."  
"Hey Kagome."  
"Yes, Sango."  
"Just out of curiosity what is a pimp?"  
"I'll tell you some other time O.K."  
"Alright."  
Everyone was just chillin' when Sesshomouru came out of the forest. "Iv'e  
been watching you Inuyasha. Oh, pardon me Inuredneck, Since you have that  
powerful two-by-four now maybe you will give me the Tetsuiga."  
Inuyasha spits out his tobacco, "Sure if'n ya want it."  
"What did you say Inuyasha?"  
"I's jus kiddin."  
"Don't mess with me Inuyasha! I'll rip you in half if you're not careful."  
"WOOOEEEEE, big man, you ain't got nuthin."  
Sesshomouru jumps at Inuyasha grabs his neck, "Now are you going to  
cooperate, or do I have to kill you."  
Inuyasha grabs his two-by-four and smacks sesshomouru right in the jaw and  
He goes flying.' Ya'll ain't gettin my Tetsuiga."  
Kagome yells at Inuyasha, "Thats not a two-by-four! Thats a Steel bar!  
Where did you get that?"  
"I found dis baby on the way back from were we saw them two rednecks. Oh  
ya, Kagome when can we see them guys again?"  
"Never, we will never see those guys ever again."  
Seshomouru gets up and attacks Inuyasha from behind, "Inuyasha look out!"  
He turns around and jumps out of the way.  
"Dang you sure want this thang bad!"  
"I will have the Tetsuiga. Maybe not today, but I will have it."  
Sesshomouru Jumps into the trees and dissapears.  
"WOOO now dat was a close one. T's a good thang you said sumthin or I'd  
been toast."  
Kagome breaths a sigh of relief. "Inuyasha come on now you can't be a  
redneck."  
"I'm Inuredneck now, and I ain't changin back."  
Kagome goes and sits on a rock next to Miroku and Sango."I don't know what  
to do he really likes being a redneck."  
Sango sits down on the rock next to Kagome, "What if you were to blackmail  
him, tell him you won't help him look for the jewel shards unless he stops  
acting like this."  
Miroku steps in front of Sango, "We are not even sure if he wants to become  
a full demon anymore he might just want to be a redneck."  
Inuyasha, holding Shippo us by his tail, yells, "Hey, what ya'll talkin  
bout?"  
Kagome stands up and starts walking towards Inuyasha. Miroku trys to sit  
down on the rock next to Sango, but Kirara jumps in the way Miroku sits on  
Kirara and breaks her leg. Sango gets up and doesn't smack him she beats  
him over the head with her giant boomerang knockin him out."  
Inuyasha drops Shippo when he sees Kagome walking towards him" What's goin  
on Kagome?"  
"I am going home Inuyasha. I'll come back tommorrow, and if you're still a  
redneck I'm going to be very upset."  
"You can count on me being da same as I is now."  
Kagome tells everyone goodbeye. As she goes into the well she thinks to  
herself , "This has been a weird day."  
The next day Kagome comes out of the well, and she sees Miroku and Inuyasha  
talking, and Sango and Shippo tending to Kiraras leg  
Sango looks up and sees Kagome, "Kagome, it's good to see you"  
Kagome looks at Inuyasha completely ignoring what Sango said, "Inuyasha , I  
see you built a rocking chair for Miroku."  
"Na I didn't feel like it, he built it himself." As soon as Inuyasha said  
that Mirokus chair broke from under him. Everyone laughed, but Miroku and  
Kagome, she had on a stone face.  
Miroku stands up, wipes the dirt off of him and pretends like nothing  
happened  
"Shoooooot Miroku, dats the funniest thang I seen all day."  
Kagome walks over to Inuyasha, "Inuyasha I told you that if you were a  
redneck when I came back there would some problems."  
"Hey Kagome, tell me how to get to the place where the thang and da ya  
know, the dude with funny thing and da stick and supper."  
"What?"  
"Ya know da place where the thang and da ya know, the dude...."  
"Inuyasha if it will shut you up, Go through the well, and down the steps.  
take a left, go one block then take another left. Then go down one block  
and you take a left. Then you go down a block take a left, Then you go down  
a block take a left, go up the steps down the well and you're there."  
"Thank ya, I be seein ya'll later."  
Miroku looks at Inuyasha and says to Kagome, "What a Moron."  
Ten minutes later, "Cledus! Billy-Bob! is ya here? Kagome, Miroku, Sango,  
Shippo, what are ya'll doin here."  
Sango looks at Inuyasha and says to Kagome, "What a Moron." 


	2. Are you stupid?

Kagome walks to Inuyasha, "Inuyasha, are you really that stupid?"  
"No! Hey ya'll tricked me didn't ya!"  
Miroku whispers to Sango, "If I have to be that stupid, I don't think I  
want to be a redneck."  
Kagome, I don like bein lied to! Now is ya gonna tell me were they live or  
do I have to leave and find them myself?"  
"I'm not telling you Inuyasha."  
"Then I guess I'll be leavin, again. Peace Out"  
"Inuyasha, rednecks don't say that."  
"Oh ya, that ain't right. What does they then?"  
Kagome shrugs her shoulders" I don't know."  
For a moment there is an awkward silence then, Inuyasha leaves.  
Inuyasha goes into the well, comes out in Kagome's time and looks around.  
"I wonder where them guys live."  
Kagome's little brother looks at Inuyasha, "Hey, you're Inuyasha right?"  
"No, I ain't Inuyasha."  
"Oh, sorry, my bad."  
Inuyasha walks down the steps, looks left and starts to walk, "Dang, I wish  
I knew where them guys is at."  
"Hey now, thers at guy that called me an animal, Maybe he knows where  
Cledus and Billy-bob live."  
"Hey, ya'll wouldn't happen to know where Cledus and Billy-bob live? Would  
ya."  
The bus driver looks at Inuyasha, "You mean the two gay guys that live over  
on the country side?"  
"Gay? They ain't gay."  
"Oh yes they are. Trust me I would know. Uhh, I have to go."  
"Dang! I can't believe it."  
Inuyasha starts to walk back to the well, "If I have got to be gay to be  
like Cledus and Billy-bob, maybe I'll be a pimp, but what if he was gay  
too."  
Meanwhile, back in the feudal age.  
"Miroku what are we going to do about Inuyasha?"  
"I don't know Kagome; he has his mind set on being a redneck."  
Inuyasha comes through the well, and Kagome sees him, "Inuredneck, back so  
soon?"  
"Huh? Oh ya whatever."  
"What's wrong?"  
"I just found out that Cledus and Billy-bob are gay."  
Miroku falls on the ground laughing, "That means you have got to be gay  
too, right? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
"No way! I am as straight as an arrow man, and if you say that again I'll  
kick your ass!"  
Kagome slowly walks up to Inuyasha, "Oh, Inuyasha, you must feel terrible."  
Kagome mouths to Miroku and Sango, "He's gay." and covers her mouth trying  
not to laugh.  
Inuyasha looking at the ground, "I mean I can't believe I loved I-I mean  
Uhh."  
Everyone but Inuyasha bust out laughing, Inuyasha is on the ground with  
red on his face, "Shut-up! Or I'll kick all your asses."  
Miroku mocking Inuyasha, "WOOOOEEEEE big man. HAHAHAHA!"  
Sango also mocking him, "What are you going to do smack us with your Two-by-  
fo. HAHAHAHA!"  
Kagome stops laugh and say, "O.K. guys I think that's enough.'  
Shippo jumps up, "No way! This is fun. Hey, Inuredneck, You are stupid.  
HAHAHAHAHA!"  
Everyone agrees, "That wasn't funny."  
Kagome grabs Inuyasha by the arm, "Come on Inuyasha, get up, it's just that  
those guys were gay and you wanted to be just like them is funny."  
"I don't want to get up, and it's not funny my life is over. I don't know  
what else to do."  
"You can get up and look for the sacred jewel shards."  
"Oh ya, I can still do that."  
"Hey, Miroku!"  
"Yes, Inuyasha."  
"You know I was only acting to be stupid, right?"  
"I don't know Inuyasha, Your not the sharpest nail in the box."  
"The sharpest what?"  
'Never mind."  
"Hey, are you calling me stupid!"  
Miroku says, sarcastically, "No, of course not.'  
"Oh. Hey! Was that a sarcoostic remark?"  
"Do you men sarcastic?"  
"Yes, what did I say?"  
"Sarcoostic."  
"Bless you."  
"So, was it?"  
"No, Inuyasha, Of course not."  
"Oh... Hey! I'm smart see, two plus two is five."  
"WOW! Inuyasha you sure proved me wrong. You are very smart."  
"Thank you. Hey!"  
Everyone walks off into the sunset with Inuyasha and Miroku still arguing.  
"OH MY GOSH!"  
"Are you O.K. Kagome?"  
Kagome yells down stairs, "Yes mom I just had a really weird dream."  
"Oh.O.K. Breakfast is ready."  
"O.K. mom I'll be down in a minute." 


End file.
